Do you ever wear a mask of smiles and doing nice things to others? Do you keep on giving and pouring out of yourself running on empty and wondering why nobody bothers to pour back into your parched life? Here is some food for thought with some soul searching questions to locate you on your own personal journey of intimacy.
It is so easy to apply the Pauline cry “less of me and more of You, Lord” in a way that is not very helpful. Christians can be busy, busy folk spreading all this sweet lurve around, especially we women are guilty of this!
Why is it that we can get so pre-occupied running around blessing everyone possible with our loveliness? Well, for starters it feels so good, we feel so validated; we’ve done something nice to our ‘neighbours’. Also by being so busy we do not really have time to stop and deal with our own issues, after all, is it not all about Jesus and loving our neighbour? And being so self sacrificial, denying ourselves in the name of Jesus, it’s easy to slip a little bit into a self-righteous mode, wanting to set a good example and being a role-model to others who’re not quite pulling their spiritual weight as we feel they should.
It’s so convenient to hide behind all these spiritual activities and our sweet loving spirituality.
Whilst love is a command and a mandate given to us by our Lord, let’s put it in perspective, “love your neighbour as yourself.”
The “as yourself” is usually pushed under the carpet as, we’re too selfish and self-centred anyway! However, selfishness and self-centeredness usually springs out of a deep, often unrecognised need that is unfulfilled, a dangerous void (nature abhors a vacuum and always seeks to fill it), sometimes it’s a deep seated wound, a deep hope referred. It is so easy to cover this up, push it aside, we don’t want to be miserable, we want to be happy, and making ourselves believe that our personal needs and desires don’t really matter, plus we get happy, and feel fulfilled being there for others.
The trouble is that when we come from a space of unmet need and not having, and we ignore/deny our own needs, lack and wounds, then, when we give to others, we’re actually not giving but taking! It is a subtle form of manipulation and it brings about an expectation that is birthed out of premeditated resentment – resenting that we won’t get what we expect, or hope, wish, desire that should be ours (Ha! Even when we don’t admit it to ourselves consciously).
Allow me to challenge all this. Let’s stop the running around spreading sweet lurve for a moment and focus on ourselves. Yes, focus on ourselves first!
Where do we need to develop and grow and learn first? ….. think deeper, dig deeper, and don’t hide behind Christianeese spiritual platitudes.
For a moment, allow me to rock the boat .... this message is about You! Your intimacy with the Lord, your intimacy with yourself, and your intimacy with that loved one of yours.
We all need to allow ourselves to get to a space of further healing and growing to higher levels. Let’s stop for a moment and examine ourselves, uncover, or unearth areas which were pushed aside, wounds not properly healed, and spend time to be honest with ourselves and with God. Then, when our inner vats, our emotional reservoirs are whole with no leaks and filled, then our giving and loving comes with greater impact to change lives.
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries - The Journey of Intimacy, 2008. All Rights Reserved