Hurrah! Finally it is sunny and warm enough to leave my computer in my office and take my ageing and temperamental laptop out on the balcony to work on one of my books on the ‘Journey of Intimacy’!
I absolutely love working outside, under a sunshade with the bright sunlight around me, and every so often glancing into some green leaves. (Pictures, please click on them to get the original size.)
I have a miniscule titchy tiny little balcony, I mean it’s smaller than a postage stamp, but I still love it out there. I squeezed in a couple of chairs a small table, and one day I will really make it pretty there.
Being outside, it’s a favourite workspace; a huge amount of research and writing happened there during my MSc degree.
During that time I frequently had a little furry companion sitting on that other chair, Tehillah, our Abyssinian Blue, who has long since gone ‘across the rainbow bridge’. Tehillah was elderly then, and she enjoyed sitting on that chair, and I enjoyed her company. (on that picture the balcony still had the ugly orange/red plastic sides)
Since then I have adopted two Chocolate Point Siamese from a rescue shelter, Truffle and Praline. I have owned Siamese before and they were very adventurous, no way could I have trusted them to go out on that balcony (back then we all lived in a huge house with a secluded garden).
Truffle and Praline are very, very different to our former Siamese, especially in temperament, so I decided to see how they would behave on the balcony under supervision with me being present .... also I was really curious if they would get on Tehillah’s honoured seat.
(definitely need to click on that pic on the right to enlarge, she has such a beautiful little face >>>)
It appears that Praline is a bit more adventurous than her older brother Truffle, and along she came. She sniffed around and checked out the place, then she jumped up on that chair Tehillah enjoyed, and settled. It felt peculiarly good .... any pet owner might understand my sentiments ...
Well, finally Truffle joined in the fun, too. Maybe it was that buzzing flying 'thing' that caught his attention .... (he's on the right. I know, I know ... it's like a mother of identical twins, you just know who's who LOL).
Did I get any work done? Yes, eventually.
A Post Script .....
Well, this is somehow somewhat turning into a cat blog post. I guess it all started with me reminiscing about Tehillah. So, the inevitable happened, I dug out some old photos of our previous beloved furry friends who are held in special memory:
My most favourite cat *ever* was Phuket, a Blue Point Tabby (Lynx) Point Siamese. There seem to be never ending stories about this personality rich strong and intelligent cat.
(again, please click on the pictures to enlarge them to their original size).
Here are my favourite two boys: my son and a young Phuket .... still can't believe that my son, this cute little boy is over 30 years old and married now ....
Phuket on the prowl
Here is Chiang Mai, Phuket's sister, a Blue Point Siamese with her favourite human: my daughter. ..... She will cringe when she sees that I put up that photo, in other words, she does not like it. However, those two were inseperable.
Chiang Mai and Tehillah snuggled up
Tehillah was such a character! Here she stretched out on my son's bed with a huge yawn ....
... and then
she dozed off ...
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Friday, 22 May 2009
OK, ok ... I am relenting ... here are some pics when I was younger
I decided to only half heartedly join in with Alicia's Photo Flashback, meaning, that I will not have a regular new Friday update of old photos. Instead I will just add some to this existing blog I posted a little while ago (the date of this post). So if you like, scroll down and see other pics of 'back then'. I reduced them in size so, if you wan to see them in the original, you'd need to click on them.
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Well, I was NOT planning to go through my drawer of photos to look for some when I was little, especially considering that just about all of them are still in Germany.
Well, as my friend Beth is participating in a Photo Flashback Meme (linking to Alicia at "More than Words") and asked me to find some old pics, I relented and did get a couple here. I was telling her that seeing I am 56 years old (1953) the pics were black and white with crinkly white edges. Well, Beth, I found one in colour!!! ... and no crinkly white edges LOL.
Anyway, here are the two. I must have been anywhere between 4 and 6 years old (thus roughly 1957-ish). The first one was taken on my birthday when I had a fancy dress party (check out the old radio!). The second one is with my mother at Wiesbaden in front of the Theatre. (click on the pics for the full size).
(well, my mother, this fine aristocratic lady, somehow wound up with this little podgy girl ... ha! ... hhmmm ... was I supposed to smile??)
The Wild Years:
That was in 1972 when I graduated from High School ... check out those 70's trousers (pants).
Then in 1976 I did some modelling ... oh well, those were the days ....
Click on the pics to enlarge them.
Then two years later in 1978 I had become a respectable mother.
1983, breastfeeding daughter. At that time I was already active in the ministry pastoring a small multi-cultural church in Hong Kong ... and she just had to slot in. She was lugged to every meeting and if necessary I fed her carefully and discretely whilest ministering ....
Thursday, 21 May 2009
So very proud of my daughter!
Today she wrote her last exam, meaning, she has now completed her Bachelor’s degree after a four year study slog alongside a full-time demanding job. It’s a BA in English Literature, and well, she has always been a keen reader.
She started early, probably influenced by seeing her mother buried in books most of the time. The moment she actually learnt to read, there was no stopping her.
There were numerous accounts and stories when she was little and at school, how the head teacher (principle) of the school was concerned that she would not stop reading even when walking on the street and bumping into lampposts, or secretly reading during lesson time.
Books have always been her passion. Asking her what she will do now after this degree, during the ‘gap-year’ till she’ll do her Masters? Oh simple, apart from working more on her sport fencing skills, she’ll finally get to read the mountain on non-academic books she has accrued ... and she can’t wait!
There is something else I need to mention, or another reason why I am so proud of her. She did her degree without any financial help from her parents, nor any loans, she worked hard at her job and did work related further exams during university holidays. What’s more she has remained a very balanced young lady who loves her fun, friends and socializing, and maintained a growing relationship with God her Saviour .... and is my own best friend!
One joyful and grateful mother!
(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)
Labels:
Parenting
Monday, 18 May 2009
Heart Connections of Love – Sharing Your Passion from behind the Microphone
It really isn’t scary at all, but many people are petrified when they are called upon to give an announcement, give a little speech, or sing a song in front of a group of people.
The other day I was contacted with a request for help. Let me change her name and call her Linda, to protect her identity.
“I need help and I need prayer,” Linda started. “I am speaking, sharing and singing at a conference, tomorrow, and I have not sung in many years, it’s such a hard song. I am scared I forget what I’m going to say when I speak in front of them .... I normally look at the wall behind the people when I sing .... well, please just pray that GOD will possess me tomorrow and flow.. and for me to be obedient .... I wish you could go instead of me!”
It is true that I do not think twice about speaking in front of large groups of people, in fact I get a buzz out of it. I love connecting with my audience. I hate being stuck behind a podium with an immovable microphone, I love to walk about, into the audience and connect with them. I guess, after more than 28 years in the ministry that is probably to be expected. There was a time in my life, however, when I felt just like Linda, actually worse.
Nothing of the sort was planned by me, I literally stumbled into ministry when I inadvertently pioneered and pastored a small multicultural church in my living room in Hong Kong. I had no intentions for that to happen; yes, I was passionate about God and His Word, and especially about the Holy Spirit.
All I did was share what I had learnt with a few friends, then they told their friends, who told their friends, etc.
Then there came a time when we had actually out grown our very spacious living room and had to hire a hall.
Thankfully, I had befriended a minister from the Kenneth Copeland Ministries who decided to help me. He clearly saw that I was called into ministry, but he also saw that I completely froze with fear standing in front of a growing congregation, now transitioning into a hall. I was in such a bad shape at that time! When I walked up to the pulpit my brain turned into mush and the information supposedly to be shared looked more like a grey fuzzy TV screen without a signal, my body would shake and somehow I forgot how to walk or stand. I could not even remember the names of my closest friends .....
My dear friend from KCM connected me to the “Dale Carnegie Course: Effective Communications & Human Relations”. I very highly recommend this course. It made a huge difference; I even wound up assisting on the Course after graduating from mine. I must say, I personally even preferred this Dale Carnegy course to the “Zig Ziglar ‘Effective Presentations’ Course”, also a most excellent and highly recommendable course, which I took at a later point.
None-the-less, there came a time when I truly freaked out again, close to fainting .... no exaggeration.
Reason? One, I was thrust a microphone into my hands by an international keynote speaker at a packed out conference with rows of ministers and bishops sitting on the platform, and two, I was to speak in front of the seasoned minister who had ordained me into ministry.
I felt totally pitifully inadequate in front of people who I admired and respected, way senior to me, experienced, seasoned, not only in presenting the Gospel message but also in their walk with Christ.
Who was I? They’d look at me and think, ‘where’s the anointing?’ I woud never be good enough or even acceptable. The fear of rejection raised its ugly head again ... a fear I was well experienced to.
I grew up in a family where just about everyone was an academic, with lawyers, doctors, etc. My own father was a scientist, published author, who was used to speaking at symposiums, and of course to the students at his university. My mother was a very ambitious pharmacist, and in her eyes, I had always been an embarrassment to the family, a failure, never good enough for anything really.
So, now this was haunting me again, as I was to speak in front of those dignified men and women in ministry. I felt like I had nothing to give.
But God turned it into a ‘Moses Moment’. Just like He asked Moses, “What do you have in your hands?” I felt that He was inquiring, “What have I wrought in your life? What seeds, whatever small you perceive them to be, do you have that you can now sow? What gift is in your life which you can now give away, that would meet the needs of those before you?”
That was the very turning point in my life. I looked at those in front of me through a different set of eyes, eyes of compassion, seeing needs that only God through me could meet.
“Share from your heart,” I said to Linda, “connect with just one person at a time, then it all flows out naturally like you're talking to a friend. Imagine that they are the only person in the room and you really want to share something that will so bless them.
“See, You are not important, but the ones you want to bless, are. So, take the focus completely off you. When you forget about yourself, all of a sudden the others become important and you're no longer self-conscious and scared.
“When you defocus from you, when you stop being self-conscious and focus on the others and their needs instead, when it does not matter any longer if you croak instead of sing, but when you have a message that you are passionate to give, surrendered to Him, then He can fill that with Himself, and it will meet the needs of others.”
Linda was still on some sort of a “scaredy-cat-rollercoaster” when she blurted out, “Yeah, but the original artist who sung that song, her voice and everything is just so amazing and so much better than me ..... I, just want to be perfect in order to bless them! ....”
“Well, she is a trained singer, for starters,” I replied, “I applaud anyone who pays the price for rigorous training and becoming the best they can be. Yes, she is a singer of highest calibre, but she won’t be there, she will not reach the people tomorrow, you will! When you connect with the hearts of people, when you connect with their needs, you only need to say one word, sing one tone, and it is explosive.
“Rather than needing to be perfect with your song, close your eyes and imagining reaching out to one or several people through your song. Think why they are there. They’ll come, not to hear a great singer, performer, speaker (... in life there will always be someone perceived to be 'better' than you ...), the people, your audience, are there because there are needs in their hearts and life, and they are hoping that God through you will meet that need.
“See, it's all about connecting with the heart. If you really connect and minister to their needs, then people are so concerned with what’s going on inside of them, that they won't even notice if your tone and pitch is not perfect or whatever.
Now, I am not saying that this gives you licence to be awful and distract those listening from hearing the Spirit of God. The Bible does say,
“Be diligent and study to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)
Do what it takes to be the best you can be at any specific time in your life, but then lay aside the need for perfection, which so often comes from a motivation of avoiding perceived rejection, which leaves the spotlight on You, how you come across, and how you are perceived, it’s feeding on your need to be loved and accepted by the audience, on your insecurities. When you thus focus on yourself whilst attempting to minister to others, you actually rob them of a heart connection and blessing.
So, let’s talk about some practicals, how do you connect with your audience?
Do your home work first. Know your audience and their needs. Pray, study, research, pray, practice, oh ... did I say pray?
Close your eyes, and become still.
Then with your closed eyes, by faith, allow His Love for them to rise up in you; intensify that love like it was a matter of life and death (it just may be, you never know!).
Enter into His rest whilst stirring up His Love for them in you.
Feel His heart for the precious people in front of you. It does not matter how big and ugly they are, they have wounds and needs that only His love can reach. Let His passion and love for them burn inside of you.
When you're in that space, open your eyes and let it flow and pour out, and enjoy the ride as He touches the innermost hidden crevices of the hearts of the ones He so loves.
In His Love,
-----
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann. 2009. All Rights Reserved
(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)
Friday, 15 May 2009
Captivated by His Melody of Love
Last night I had a dream with His overwhelming deep romancing lover’s love burning inside of me, my heart aching for more ….
In my dream I found myself in a place where people come in, did whatever they had to do, and then left again. It looked like a large changing room or interchange place. There was a continuous stream of people coming and going.
I noticed that there was someone who did not come and go, who was just there, and He was playing the flute.
I was captivated by the flute as it is my personal favourite musical instrument, so I lingered to watch and listen. But then I noticed that the flute player was Jesus Himself. I was stunned and struck by awe just by the revelation of who it was who almost unassumingly, non-demandingly walked in our midst and playing the flute to us.
I became more engrossed in Him and His presence and decided to stay longer still - just watch and listen. Whilst playing the flute, He was slowly walking about towards people as they were coming and going in their busy endeavours. Most people who entered saw Him or at least were aware of Him, and some greeted Him politely, and then walked on, did what they had to do and then left.
I thought to myself, ‘do they actually know who He is?!’, and I then felt that, yes, most people did, but they were just too busy to stop. They politely acknowledged Him, but never stopped long enough to listen to Him play the flute. It was almost like pleasant general background noise to them as they swiftly moved through the area and out.
Where I was standing, location wise, was just a little further away than the people I watched entering and leaving the busy exchange through-route. So, I decided to walk up close to Him.
The closer I walked towards Him, the more I became aware how apprehensively ‘star-struck’ in awe I was of Him .... and would I actually hold up to being in His glorious presence as it became more powerful and radiant?
However, as I kept walking closer to Him, what I was experiencing, this irresistible drawing mixed with in-awe-trepidation, was gradually changing, almost in an imperceptible melting interchange into radiating love, yes, the intense romantic love of a lover, both from Him and now reverberating from myself to Him, through Him, back to me ....
It became so overwhelmingly intense like I had never felt before, even those giddiest moments of times in my life when I had first fallen in love with a man could not compare.
I walked even closer; the intense romancing love from Him had me craving for more. He continued playing the flute. Our eyes met, and His lovers love burned even deeper inside of me, affecting my entire being.
With that I woke up, still in sheer awe with that overwhelming deep romancing lover’s love burning inside of me; however, I was also reflecting how people just walk through, acknowledge Him at best, but not stop, listen and draw close to him beyond the almost foreboding awe of being in the presence of God Himself into the intense romancing of the Lover of His Bride.
(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)
In my dream I found myself in a place where people come in, did whatever they had to do, and then left again. It looked like a large changing room or interchange place. There was a continuous stream of people coming and going.
I noticed that there was someone who did not come and go, who was just there, and He was playing the flute.
I was captivated by the flute as it is my personal favourite musical instrument, so I lingered to watch and listen. But then I noticed that the flute player was Jesus Himself. I was stunned and struck by awe just by the revelation of who it was who almost unassumingly, non-demandingly walked in our midst and playing the flute to us.
I became more engrossed in Him and His presence and decided to stay longer still - just watch and listen. Whilst playing the flute, He was slowly walking about towards people as they were coming and going in their busy endeavours. Most people who entered saw Him or at least were aware of Him, and some greeted Him politely, and then walked on, did what they had to do and then left.
I thought to myself, ‘do they actually know who He is?!’, and I then felt that, yes, most people did, but they were just too busy to stop. They politely acknowledged Him, but never stopped long enough to listen to Him play the flute. It was almost like pleasant general background noise to them as they swiftly moved through the area and out.
Where I was standing, location wise, was just a little further away than the people I watched entering and leaving the busy exchange through-route. So, I decided to walk up close to Him.
The closer I walked towards Him, the more I became aware how apprehensively ‘star-struck’ in awe I was of Him .... and would I actually hold up to being in His glorious presence as it became more powerful and radiant?
However, as I kept walking closer to Him, what I was experiencing, this irresistible drawing mixed with in-awe-trepidation, was gradually changing, almost in an imperceptible melting interchange into radiating love, yes, the intense romantic love of a lover, both from Him and now reverberating from myself to Him, through Him, back to me ....
It became so overwhelmingly intense like I had never felt before, even those giddiest moments of times in my life when I had first fallen in love with a man could not compare.
I walked even closer; the intense romancing love from Him had me craving for more. He continued playing the flute. Our eyes met, and His lovers love burned even deeper inside of me, affecting my entire being.
With that I woke up, still in sheer awe with that overwhelming deep romancing lover’s love burning inside of me; however, I was also reflecting how people just walk through, acknowledge Him at best, but not stop, listen and draw close to him beyond the almost foreboding awe of being in the presence of God Himself into the intense romancing of the Lover of His Bride.
(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Digging out my personal history .... and rejoicing in my identity in Christ Jesus
This actually an older blog post which I have imported from another blog of mine. I am tidying my various blogs and streamline them. Anyway, this one was published in Spetember 2008
------------------
We don't have an influence on who were our ancestors or even our parents. However, we can chose to honour them, extract whatever positive we might find, and then form our identity through Christ Jesus uniquely to us, our purpose and assignment.... sometimes our ancesters leave clues, unfinished business or 'mantels' (they carried, or should have carried) that we may need to pick up and carry to completion to the Glory of God.
Did I mention that I am German?
….. Anyway, it was last Easter when I was on the phone with my cousin, Agathe, in Germany. For some reason during our conversation our mutual late grandmother popped up in our margarethe-baroness-von-luck-und-wittenconversation (the pic on here is our late grandmother, at the time of the picture - 1917, Margarethe Baroness von Luck und Witten).
Agathe mentioned, almost as a throw away remark, that our late grandma was the illegitimate child of an Earl (or Count both words translate the same into German: Graf).
Grandma's mother, our great-grandmother, who apparently died during child birth, was an opera singer. Agathe had been left with a whole bundle of old documents when one of our aunts died, and also heard this from an elderly lady who knows the family background well. “I know about the Graf,” I said to Agathe, “my mother told me.” She was shocked that I knew when her mother had never told her. We knew that our Grandmother’s first husband was a Baron, after all, the material evidence relating to this aristocratic heritage was all around us when we grew up as kids, and of course our spinster aunts carried that name.
Somehow I had pushed all this knowledge aside as it is not relevant to my life now. But for some reason, when Agathe mentioned that, my curiosity was teased out of its hiding …. and, actually, I did not know that our great-grandma was an opera singer. (Did she sing Wagner operas? I wonder .... afterall Richard Wagner lived around that time and was a major hit in high society ....)
Now we started to dig, who exactly was this Graf? …when might it had been that grandma was born … somewhere in the mid 1880’s? “Yes, and he was the Bavarian ambassador at St. Petersburg,” Agathe added.
I know absolutely nothing about my own country’s history, I have to admit, so I found myself digging through the German Google, came across King Ludwig II of Bavaria (never heard of that guy before … now I read that he was the one who had all these fantasy castles built such as ‘Neu Schwanstein’ which inspired Walt Disney, and for a long while the King was Wagner's patron) ….
I found myself digging on the Internet till 4am in the morning that day. Why? I was fascinated, I wanted to find out who on earth exactly was this great grandfather? I wanted to find out who my blood lineage was. I could not care less that my dear great-grandmother had an affair and wound up giving birth to my grandmother out of wedlock. It was part of my quest, ‘who am I?’
I know who I am spiritually, I am the child of the Most High God, the daughter of the King of Kings, so, why bother about some Graf who gallivanted about in different countries, and probably fathered a good many more children he neither knew nor cared about. But then, it is fascinating when people and relatives tell me, “you’re just like your grandmother, you even look like her”.
We have been woven into a rich tapestry of life which moulds so much of how we live our lives, our personality and our character.
Some time ago I read about this account of two brothers who grew up in the worst part of the Bronx in New York. Their mother was a prostitute; domestic violence was the norm in that family. Their father was either full of drugs or alcohol, in and out of jail, and finally stayed there for murder. One of the two brothers followed his father’s footsteps and also wound up in jail. His brother, however, went to school, won scholarships, became a successful lawyer, and happily married with three children. When they were interviewed and asked what caused them to become who they are, both of them gave the same reply, “Because of our father”.
It rather goes to show that it is not the circumstances that cause us to become who we are, but rather how we interpret the circumstances and live accordingly. In other words we can allow circumstances to use us, or we use circumstances. The choice is ours.
When we were born-again we received at that moment a new spirit and the force of eternal life. I am referring to eternal life not as duration of endless existence, not a time period; but life as a substance, an altered condition of our spirit.
Jesus said, “I come that they might have life.” The moment you get born-again the zoe-life, the spirit life, what is called in Hebrew the Ruach HaKodesh , His Holy Spirit, comes into you. At that moment your spirit is changed. Who you are in your recreated spirit-being is not the one you are right now as you experience yourself. Who you are, the spirit-being, is the one clothed with the resurrection body, that does not look a thing like you look now. Who you are as a spirit-being, has a new identity.
The Bible says that we have a new name. The new nature has a whole new capacity that might take ‘millions of years’, to discover and unfold to understand that aspect of you which is His image that your Father has put in you, uniquely as a that son or daughter of God. You don’t even know who you are yet, but you’re a whole lot more than you think right now.
Thus, from the spiritual aspect we need to come to know who we are by renewing our minds. From the natural perspective, we need to know who we are to make sure we are we are running our life rather than life running us.
Many of you have suffered because somebody did not see and celebrate the uniqueness in the way you were made, and wanted you to be the way they wanted you to be, and never affirmed who you actually are. You wound up with many negative reference experiences. Many of those have stuck to you like plaster.
This reminds of a rather interesting story I read many times from different sources.
In Bangkok, Thailand, is a famous golden Buddha statue that is about 900 years old.
The 3 meter tall Buddha is made up of 5.5 tons of solid gold. The statue was covered in plaster, disguised as a stone Buddha in order to save it from the Burmese who ransacked temples and plundered the gold during various wars.
Obviously, the camouflage job turned out to be too good because when those responsible for covering it with plaster died, so did the true nature of the Buddha image inside.
Two centuries after it had been first covered in plaster, it was thought to be worth very little.
But in 1957, when the statue was being moved to a new temple building in Bangkok, it slipped from a crane and was left in the mud by workmen. The covering plaster was partly broken. Only then did the people realize that it was made of pure solid gold.
I believe this is a good analogy as to who we really are; we are made of the pure solid gold of God’s design and purpose for us.
Life and living has covered many of us, disguised by pain, disappointments, failure, lost hope, that we do not even resemble who we really are.
Who is going to crack off the misleading plaster? Who’s going to have to change the program?
We are - with the help of the Spirit of God working in us and through us!
This is your life, your own – not your mother’s, not your sister’s, not your spouse’s, nor your best friend’s.
When you discover the person inside, the one you have always been, foreknown and fore-loved by our Heavenly Father before the foundations of the world, you will be surprised by joy and astonished by awe.
------------------
We don't have an influence on who were our ancestors or even our parents. However, we can chose to honour them, extract whatever positive we might find, and then form our identity through Christ Jesus uniquely to us, our purpose and assignment.... sometimes our ancesters leave clues, unfinished business or 'mantels' (they carried, or should have carried) that we may need to pick up and carry to completion to the Glory of God.
Did I mention that I am German?
….. Anyway, it was last Easter when I was on the phone with my cousin, Agathe, in Germany. For some reason during our conversation our mutual late grandmother popped up in our margarethe-baroness-von-luck-und-wittenconversation (the pic on here is our late grandmother, at the time of the picture - 1917, Margarethe Baroness von Luck und Witten).
Agathe mentioned, almost as a throw away remark, that our late grandma was the illegitimate child of an Earl (or Count both words translate the same into German: Graf).
Grandma's mother, our great-grandmother, who apparently died during child birth, was an opera singer. Agathe had been left with a whole bundle of old documents when one of our aunts died, and also heard this from an elderly lady who knows the family background well. “I know about the Graf,” I said to Agathe, “my mother told me.” She was shocked that I knew when her mother had never told her. We knew that our Grandmother’s first husband was a Baron, after all, the material evidence relating to this aristocratic heritage was all around us when we grew up as kids, and of course our spinster aunts carried that name.
Somehow I had pushed all this knowledge aside as it is not relevant to my life now. But for some reason, when Agathe mentioned that, my curiosity was teased out of its hiding …. and, actually, I did not know that our great-grandma was an opera singer. (Did she sing Wagner operas? I wonder .... afterall Richard Wagner lived around that time and was a major hit in high society ....)
Now we started to dig, who exactly was this Graf? …when might it had been that grandma was born … somewhere in the mid 1880’s? “Yes, and he was the Bavarian ambassador at St. Petersburg,” Agathe added.
I know absolutely nothing about my own country’s history, I have to admit, so I found myself digging through the German Google, came across King Ludwig II of Bavaria (never heard of that guy before … now I read that he was the one who had all these fantasy castles built such as ‘Neu Schwanstein’ which inspired Walt Disney, and for a long while the King was Wagner's patron) ….
I found myself digging on the Internet till 4am in the morning that day. Why? I was fascinated, I wanted to find out who on earth exactly was this great grandfather? I wanted to find out who my blood lineage was. I could not care less that my dear great-grandmother had an affair and wound up giving birth to my grandmother out of wedlock. It was part of my quest, ‘who am I?’
I know who I am spiritually, I am the child of the Most High God, the daughter of the King of Kings, so, why bother about some Graf who gallivanted about in different countries, and probably fathered a good many more children he neither knew nor cared about. But then, it is fascinating when people and relatives tell me, “you’re just like your grandmother, you even look like her”.
We have been woven into a rich tapestry of life which moulds so much of how we live our lives, our personality and our character.
Some time ago I read about this account of two brothers who grew up in the worst part of the Bronx in New York. Their mother was a prostitute; domestic violence was the norm in that family. Their father was either full of drugs or alcohol, in and out of jail, and finally stayed there for murder. One of the two brothers followed his father’s footsteps and also wound up in jail. His brother, however, went to school, won scholarships, became a successful lawyer, and happily married with three children. When they were interviewed and asked what caused them to become who they are, both of them gave the same reply, “Because of our father”.
It rather goes to show that it is not the circumstances that cause us to become who we are, but rather how we interpret the circumstances and live accordingly. In other words we can allow circumstances to use us, or we use circumstances. The choice is ours.
When we were born-again we received at that moment a new spirit and the force of eternal life. I am referring to eternal life not as duration of endless existence, not a time period; but life as a substance, an altered condition of our spirit.
Jesus said, “I come that they might have life.” The moment you get born-again the zoe-life, the spirit life, what is called in Hebrew the Ruach HaKodesh , His Holy Spirit, comes into you. At that moment your spirit is changed. Who you are in your recreated spirit-being is not the one you are right now as you experience yourself. Who you are, the spirit-being, is the one clothed with the resurrection body, that does not look a thing like you look now. Who you are as a spirit-being, has a new identity.
The Bible says that we have a new name. The new nature has a whole new capacity that might take ‘millions of years’, to discover and unfold to understand that aspect of you which is His image that your Father has put in you, uniquely as a that son or daughter of God. You don’t even know who you are yet, but you’re a whole lot more than you think right now.
Thus, from the spiritual aspect we need to come to know who we are by renewing our minds. From the natural perspective, we need to know who we are to make sure we are we are running our life rather than life running us.
Many of you have suffered because somebody did not see and celebrate the uniqueness in the way you were made, and wanted you to be the way they wanted you to be, and never affirmed who you actually are. You wound up with many negative reference experiences. Many of those have stuck to you like plaster.
This reminds of a rather interesting story I read many times from different sources.
In Bangkok, Thailand, is a famous golden Buddha statue that is about 900 years old.
The 3 meter tall Buddha is made up of 5.5 tons of solid gold. The statue was covered in plaster, disguised as a stone Buddha in order to save it from the Burmese who ransacked temples and plundered the gold during various wars.
Obviously, the camouflage job turned out to be too good because when those responsible for covering it with plaster died, so did the true nature of the Buddha image inside.
Two centuries after it had been first covered in plaster, it was thought to be worth very little.
But in 1957, when the statue was being moved to a new temple building in Bangkok, it slipped from a crane and was left in the mud by workmen. The covering plaster was partly broken. Only then did the people realize that it was made of pure solid gold.
I believe this is a good analogy as to who we really are; we are made of the pure solid gold of God’s design and purpose for us.
Life and living has covered many of us, disguised by pain, disappointments, failure, lost hope, that we do not even resemble who we really are.
Who is going to crack off the misleading plaster? Who’s going to have to change the program?
We are - with the help of the Spirit of God working in us and through us!
This is your life, your own – not your mother’s, not your sister’s, not your spouse’s, nor your best friend’s.
When you discover the person inside, the one you have always been, foreknown and fore-loved by our Heavenly Father before the foundations of the world, you will be surprised by joy and astonished by awe.
Labels:
Memory Lane
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Jazz Jamming, South African Braai & Great Friends
It’s what happened last weekend ... hey yes, it’s already Tuesday but the delicious smell of Boereworst still lingers in my nose, plus the yummy memories of Jerk Chicken ... and my own Ginger & Lemon Chicken (with heaps of garlic, herbs, cinnamon, cumin ... just ask for the marinade recipe ;-)) but don’t expect me to give you any precise measurements .... LOL).
So, it was the Don’s (*the Godfather of Music*) birthday (pic above). Entry requirements: bring yourself with total intent to enjoy yourself, some tasty morsels for the braai (BBQ for those who are not used to South Africans ....) and some drinkables would help, a musical instrument, if you play one ... or just your voice, and of course you must enjoy music, music and more music ... certainly jazz, blues, gospel, etc.
Giles, the chap on the electric violin, unfortunately got lost in the background of my picture ...
Folk drifted in at all hours, someone even dragged in a chap wandering around in the neighbourhood who had asked for directions to a friend’s party and got lost. He was persuaded that he needed to be at this party instead, and as it turned out, he was a drummer and totally intrigued arriving at a place abuzz with sounds and people of all ages and nationalities.
Yeah! It was good. So reminded me of some old times, some thirty years ago when I loved hanging with jazz cats, jamming through the night, with the odd people having drifted off *blissfully* with their guitars on their laps, or using the drum kit as a pillow, only to wake up at around three or four in the morning, fingers in place, to play the next riff ....
For some years, now, I have been promising myself to pick up my flute again and start practising ... one day, it will happen. (oh the B&W pics, yep that's me some 30+ years ago!)
What I so love about these folk is that they are Christians (indeed ministers ...) who know how to be real, just totally be themselves, and have good, clean, happy fun!
Anyway, I stopped overnight at my friends' house, and took the pleasurable and very sunny long scenic route through sleepy villages and towns back to my home grounds, or rather to my church at Chiswick, London where we were having a most glorious conference with Surprise Sithole, who is part of Heidi and Roland Baker’s Iris Ministries in Mozambique. (pic on right, Surprise and I)
Oh we had a blast! Check out the message on the CCC podcast player on the right hand side (just scroll down ... really worth listening to!).
The worship was led by Richard Lewis and our own Michael Phombeah (powerfully anointed and hugely talented drummer percussionist who plays at key conferences internationally).
Those two just rip tear open any veils of hindrance to the glory realm into heavenly portals. At one point, Michael’s percussions pounded into worship intercession, it felt like we were all immersed in a glory fire bath of Mozambique.
Yeah God! More!!
Below, Michael in action!
(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)
So, it was the Don’s (*the Godfather of Music*) birthday (pic above). Entry requirements: bring yourself with total intent to enjoy yourself, some tasty morsels for the braai (BBQ for those who are not used to South Africans ....) and some drinkables would help, a musical instrument, if you play one ... or just your voice, and of course you must enjoy music, music and more music ... certainly jazz, blues, gospel, etc.
Giles, the chap on the electric violin, unfortunately got lost in the background of my picture ...
Folk drifted in at all hours, someone even dragged in a chap wandering around in the neighbourhood who had asked for directions to a friend’s party and got lost. He was persuaded that he needed to be at this party instead, and as it turned out, he was a drummer and totally intrigued arriving at a place abuzz with sounds and people of all ages and nationalities.
Yeah! It was good. So reminded me of some old times, some thirty years ago when I loved hanging with jazz cats, jamming through the night, with the odd people having drifted off *blissfully* with their guitars on their laps, or using the drum kit as a pillow, only to wake up at around three or four in the morning, fingers in place, to play the next riff ....
For some years, now, I have been promising myself to pick up my flute again and start practising ... one day, it will happen. (oh the B&W pics, yep that's me some 30+ years ago!)
What I so love about these folk is that they are Christians (indeed ministers ...) who know how to be real, just totally be themselves, and have good, clean, happy fun!
Anyway, I stopped overnight at my friends' house, and took the pleasurable and very sunny long scenic route through sleepy villages and towns back to my home grounds, or rather to my church at Chiswick, London where we were having a most glorious conference with Surprise Sithole, who is part of Heidi and Roland Baker’s Iris Ministries in Mozambique. (pic on right, Surprise and I)
Oh we had a blast! Check out the message on the CCC podcast player on the right hand side (just scroll down ... really worth listening to!).
The worship was led by Richard Lewis and our own Michael Phombeah (powerfully anointed and hugely talented drummer percussionist who plays at key conferences internationally).
Those two just rip tear open any veils of hindrance to the glory realm into heavenly portals. At one point, Michael’s percussions pounded into worship intercession, it felt like we were all immersed in a glory fire bath of Mozambique.
Yeah God! More!!
Below, Michael in action!
(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Wedding - Sabah – Borneo – Malaysia
This is a long overdue blog, but suffice it to say, a lot happened.
A huge amount of prayer went into this trip, and those of you who know what I am talking about, a big *Thank You!* for taking the time to pray.
God answered superabundantly with His grace!
What followed was a whirlwind of activities. Apart from the lovely wedding itself, all of us guests, from London and Australia were whisked off to a beautiful island, and of course on the mountainous trek around Mount Kinabalu ... a lot of activities crammed into a short space of time.
Below are some pictorial memories:
Approaching the island. The various colours of blue, green, aqua were so soothening and nourishing to me. I just love the water and get revived!
This rather large chap, a monitor lizard, lazily made his way around the beach folk. Except for those like me who hunted him with my camera, it bothered no-one and was at ease around all the people.
Apparently, they are quite aggressive in the water on different islands.
The next day we all went for a trek into the tropical rain forest at Mount Kinabalu, with the intent to go up on the 'canopy walk' which is a swinging riggedy hanging bridge about half a kilometre above the rain forest grounds ....
Here we are at the start of the climb ... both my son and daughter did not realize what was to be in store ...
There it is from the distance after a steep climb up on slippery make-shift 'steps' of various stone bolders and branches ....
I quit half way up. I plain was not fit enough to make it up.
Well, apparently it was a scary experience!
..... and then they got married!
My new daughter-in-love ... she is beautiful! I am so proud of both of them! What a gift they both are!
I have completely forgotten to post some pictures of those stunning South-East Asian tropical sunsets. They don't last long, but are incredibly intense. Enjoy!
A huge amount of prayer went into this trip, and those of you who know what I am talking about, a big *Thank You!* for taking the time to pray.
God answered superabundantly with His grace!
I had not seen my son for over 5 years, as he lives in Australia, so when he and his gorgeous new wife picked me up at the airport, I just dissolved in his arms in tears of joy. It was a wonderful and loving reunion!
What followed was a whirlwind of activities. Apart from the lovely wedding itself, all of us guests, from London and Australia were whisked off to a beautiful island, and of course on the mountainous trek around Mount Kinabalu ... a lot of activities crammed into a short space of time.
I was grateful to be back in the tropical heat with the high humidity which I so love and thrive in .... my only wish is for the locals to use fans rather than the ghastly cold air conditioners!
Below are some pictorial memories:
Approaching the island. The various colours of blue, green, aqua were so soothening and nourishing to me. I just love the water and get revived!
This rather large chap, a monitor lizard, lazily made his way around the beach folk. Except for those like me who hunted him with my camera, it bothered no-one and was at ease around all the people.
Apparently, they are quite aggressive in the water on different islands.
The next day we all went for a trek into the tropical rain forest at Mount Kinabalu, with the intent to go up on the 'canopy walk' which is a swinging riggedy hanging bridge about half a kilometre above the rain forest grounds ....
Here we are at the start of the climb ... both my son and daughter did not realize what was to be in store ...
There it is from the distance after a steep climb up on slippery make-shift 'steps' of various stone bolders and branches ....
I quit half way up. I plain was not fit enough to make it up.
Well, apparently it was a scary experience!
..... and then they got married!
My new daughter-in-love ... she is beautiful! I am so proud of both of them! What a gift they both are!
I have completely forgotten to post some pictures of those stunning South-East Asian tropical sunsets. They don't last long, but are incredibly intense. Enjoy!
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