Smootch and have a fun time with your man ... it's good for the kids!

Good news for parents who are cash-strapped in this economy: Date night is not mandatory for a good relationship.

"I've never been able to do date night. By the time it gets to be evening, the last thing I want to do is go out in the cold or rain, pay another baby sitter," ... I heard someone say who approached me on the subject.

Connecting doesn't have to be huge, expensive or time-consuming. Make your marriage sweet and memorable in the littlest moments every day.

... the fiery red hot passionate heritage left to me

I have so much fun with those various Memes here in Blogland. Not only does it cause me to stop and think, reminisce, or journal with an attitude of gratitude, wonder, fun and joy; but I am also meeting some really wonderful new people, plus say hello to those who have become dear friends enriching my life ... and I trust that I do the same for them.

Well, today is Tuesday again, and I am linking with Mary over at “Work Of The Poet” and her “Ruby Tuesday” Meme.


My “Red” contribution this week is from an old picture of my late mother. I decided on that picture for two reasons:

1. As I honoured my father during Father’s Day, I thought, why not honour my mother as well.
2. This picture of her in her red socks and red anorak on top of that mountain is so very typical of her personality and temperament.

She was a very energetic, goal driven, ambitious, intense and competitive lady (how come I did not inherit those wonderful traits .... I am far more laid-back).

She was also very emotional and passionate, which resulted in quite a few fireworks displays between us. As a ‘blue-blood’ Bavarian, Southern German, passion also runs in the veins ... now that I did inherit. They say that those parent-child relationships which are the most similar in temperament are probably the most volatile and fireworks graced ones. Mix that with an ever increasing crowd of Spanish relatives, no wonder people get confused and think I am Latin at times when I snap out of my laid-back demeanour. Yes, and of course my hands are all over the place ....

My mother was in many ways a very impressive lady. She was a first class pharmacist, and nothing but ‘summa cum laude’ would do.

She was also very gregarious. Just sit her next to anyone on a bench somewhere, and for sure we would visit them as a family in their country next time. She would strike up a conversation with absolute ease, poise and dignity of a statesman .... and make friends.

For people to come over for afternoon coffee was never a problem. The freezer was always stacked with the most delicious homemade cakes. She was sooooo organized ... how come that gene transfer did not happen to me??

She was a big reader, both in the field of science and literature. It also totally goes without saying that my parents would not ever be without their annual subscription to the theatre and opera house! Her love for classical music and art shaped me as a child. She was also very artistic herself.

We two ranted and raved, fought and fussed at each other. We caused each other a lot of pain and wounds, to the degree that when she died at the young age of 65, I was very glad that she was gone. Yet, I totally admire her.

In retrospect I realise and know beyond a shadow of doubt that she crazily loved me. She loved me the very best she knew how. She meant well, and I wish we had a chance to actually really get to know one another.

I have forgiven her a long, long time ago. As an adult I have come to understand her baggage and pain with great empathy. She herself was very misunderstood by her nearest and dearest, but hugely loved, and adored by everyone else.

She was a phenomenal lady, she was my mother who gave me life and raised me the best she could. As a mother of two adult children, myself, I have come to understand this often rocky road of parenthood. The tears I have cried over my children when I was a less than perfect mother and hurt them, the many prayers I have prayed, and I am grateful to God the way they have turned out – any mother could be proud of them!

There was another legacy my mother left, she would sing love songs to Jesus, and especially in her darkest hours I would hear her sing psalms, hymns and love songs.

She truly was amazing with her fiery red hot passion and attitude, and love. And I would like to take the opportunity to express my gratitude and honour to a most outstanding lady, my mother!

Wishing you a passionate ruby red love and laughter filled Tuesday!

Remembering and Honouring my Father, Dr. Max Heimann - A Father's Day Tribute

I decided to make it a little photo tribute to my precious late father, who left us one month before his 90th birthday in October 2002.

My dad was not a perfect father in terms of that he was an absent and way too busy father. As a scientist, professor, author, etc. lived in our home, but was first and foremost married to science. He was a phytopathologist (plant doctor, I used to call him). He was not perfect by any means, but then which parent is, only our Heavenly Father is perfect .... having said that, he was perfect to me, and I loved him very, very dearly.

He was a godly man with godly principles, and ever so good-natured. He was known as the cheerful smiling man, always with a little song on his lips. No matter how difficult life was, he would go out of his way to cheer people up and encourage them. He was truely a remarkable man, full of inner joy and faith, and gentleness, a true and trusted friend. In many ways he has become my rolemodel. This is a good time as any to thank God from every fibre of my being for having granted me such a special man as a father.

It is a shame that my brother, Thomas, took the short-cut to heaven at his birth, he, too would have enjoyed him as a father .... well the two of them have the best time ever together now with Jesus!

Dr. Max Heimann

There is another photo which I still have to find, scan and upload (a bit later) and it will fit in here.

This next one was in 1962 (I was 10 years old) at one of his many microscopes at the laboratory ... later he used electronic microscopes. I remember when I came into the lab, and he got me some water from a pond outside the institute, and then stuck the petri dish with the water on the microscope. I sat for hours watching the little strange squiggly things move all over the place .... and of course that gave him peace to work ... ha!


And here he is with his little grandson introducing him to the joys of singing with an ever ready guitar. Oh he would be so proud of his grandson now!


This next picture of my dad and I was taken at his 80th birthday. A year prior he had suffered his first and major stroke. We nearly thought we lost him then. However he pulled through. I never forget when I was sat next to him at the hospital, he could hardly move or speak, and he pointed to a pile of scietific journals asking me to read them to him. He knew, as a scientist, that he had to keep his brain active in order to survive, to build new synapse connections for all those that were distroyed during the stroke.


Finally, this was the last time I saw him alive, just before his 90th birthday. By then he had suffered several strokes and heart attacks, plus pulmonary edema (water in lungs). He was in and out of intensive care. There were these long drives from London, England over to Germany to rush over. His body was failing him, but the mind and brain was as sharp and active as ever.

He is loved and still missed! Thank you daddy for your life!


With deep gratitude,

Geli.

Parenting Teens and Beyond with God

This is kind of a little sequel from my previous blog on ‘Parenting and God’.

Both of my ‘kids’ are adults now, and I trust that my reflections here are going to be of some inspiration and encouragement to those of you who are in the parenting (grand-parenting) process.

No matter how great or how awful our parenting skills are, no matter how many times we miss it, and actually inadvertently emotionally wound our precious kids, we do mean well, we want the best for them .... at least most parents would agree.

As parents we have our own ‘stuff’ that we keep on having to trust God to grow though. We all have our own 'blind spots', and our personal ‘picture frame’ through which we view and interpret our world and what is happening around us.

I would like to quote myself from an earlier blog post, "Digging out my personal history ..."

“Some time ago I read about this account of two brothers who grew up in the worst part of the Bronx in New York. Their mother was a prostitute; domestic violence was the norm in that family. Their father was either full of drugs or alcohol, in and out of jail, and finally stayed there for murder. One of the two brothers followed his father’s footsteps and also wound up in jail. His brother, however, went to school, won scholarships, became a successful lawyer, and happily married with three children. When they were interviewed and asked what caused them to become who they are, both of them gave the same reply, “Because of our father”.

It rather goes to show that it is not the circumstances that cause us to become who we are, but rather how we interpret the circumstances and live accordingly. In other words we can allow circumstances to use us, or we use circumstances. The choice is ours.”

Having said all that, this does not give us, as parents, licence to treat our kids any old way. We are responsible before God that we do our best. I, for one, am very grateful the way both my 'kids' have turned out. I give God all the glory for that! It has not been easy, there has been huge family upheavals, a lot of trauma and pain, plus my divorce, losing the family home/house, etc.
Yet, God has brought us all through by His grace. Both of them are very fine young people, balanced, and filled with the Holy Spirit.

Now, you’re asking, what was my contribution? My aim was and is to build friendship and not just a parent/child relationship.

My aim was to convey to them unconditional regard – I may not have agreed with all they were doing, however, they knew that no matter what, my unwavering love was and is available to them at all times .... with my heart and arms wide open.

I guess one of the main things I learnt from my own upbringing was, that due to 'uncomfortable consequences', I decided that 'stuff' secretly done behind the back of my parents would be more enjoyable. This robbed me of some major protection which landed me in serious trouble and nearly left me for dead.

I thus decided that my kids should be offered the benefit of non-judgemental love and acceptance with the doors of communication open at all times, should they decided to make use of it.

The other main thing I learned from my upbringing was, that once the initial stages of 'pure protection' were over (e.g. as a toddler sticking fingers into electric socket outlets), the do’s and don’ts "because I say so" do not necessarily work in the long run, but teaching and imparting values do.

To that end, I would not say ‘no’ to a movie, etc. (knowing that most likely they would watch it at a friend’s house in any case), but take the time and watch it with them and then discuss principles and values with them. (OK that movie situation only lasted a limited time, as I am a complete wuzz, and can't handle action and suspense too well ....)

I recall one preacher/pastor one day was disgusted walking past by some magazine racks with teen magazines on display with rather questionable sexual content displayed. He turned around to me and sharply said that he would never permit his daughter to put eyes on that abominable stuff from the pit of hell.
I had to keep my mouth zipped, at the time, as I was actually buying the very same magazines for my own daughter. However, I did not just give her the mag and left her to digest that stuff with her friends. No, I sat down with her. Together we leafed through the magazines, read and discussed ... again, my aim was to educate and impart values. The allure to secretly read and watch this material behind my back with so-called friends was removed; all was discussed in the open in a non-judgemental way, to equip her, and to keep the communication channels accessible at all times.

I knew that kids, teens, are not so much interested in the mechanics of sex or the anatomy of body parts, but much rather what does it feel emotionally, what happens on the heart level, especially afterwards, after having slipped into a lust event?
What’s the difference between hormones and true affections?
What are the values from a Biblical perspective and why?

Values, values, values ... to provide healthy boundaries, not as a spoil sport for fun, but to liberate into enduring growth.

That meant spending time ... sometimes sitting with that precious teenager till the small hours of the night/morning, and just talking and listening, trying to understand their world.

I know that in all my endeavours, I still have failed and come short many, many times, in really hearing them, really understanding them, really getting to know them. As parents we often automatically assume that we know our kids, but do we? Really? It takes huge amount of unconditional love, time, setting aside own preconceptions, own world perceptions.

There were times when I could not relate to them at all, when my automatic alarm bells started ringing furiously. It’s exactly at those times when I had to sit myself down, first, and check and re-check whether or not I was just reacting according to my personal realities and comfort zone.

I tried to learn to put aside my personal preferences, enter into their world, into their map of reality, and allow myself to be stretched. I cried, sobbed, prayed, .... messed up, asking them to forgive me.

Yeah! I failed and messed up; I have not been a perfect mother by any stretch of imagination. I have made mistakes, and will continue to make mistakes .... not because I intend to, but because I am still growing, maturing, and learning till I graduate into my heavenly home.

However, one thing I would say, I love them dearly and I know that I am loved by them. We have amazingly beautiful relationships with each other. My son has just given me a most outstanding new daughter, who I love dearly, too. A very special young woman, I could not think of a better wife for my son.

So, if you happen to be a parent of teenagers, or will be a parent of a teenager/s, take heart and be encouraged. Love them, not the way you think they should be loved, but the way they want and need to be loved according to their uniqueness. And pray, intercede, go into spiritual warfare, cover them with the Blood of Jesus, regularly take Holy Communion and uphold them in prayer, yes, immerse them in prayer *behind the scenes*.

Don’t be like Job in the Bible who feared the worst that might happen to his children in the time and age he was living in ... we’re living in. Have faith in God, He is their eternal Father. By faith expect great and honourable things for your children and they will live up to it!

Don’t beat yourself up when you make mistakes, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, get up, dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, get over it, and move on.

Building and experiencing a godly loving relationship with one’s children is one of the greatest gifts and joys from heaven .... it’s worth it!

Lovingly,


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© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries - The Journey of Intimacy, 2009. All Rights Reserved

Busy Parents and God

I have previously posted this on a different blog, however I feel it might be helpful for readers on this blog

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Exhausted parents, especially Christian moms, often feel guilty (or made to feel guilty by other Christians) for not spending *enough* quality time with God. Here is a compassionate encouragement – and some practical tips.



Time and time again I come across exasperate parents, especially precious mothers, exhausted already with all that is going on in their lives, beating themselves up that they are neglecting quality time with the Lord.

If you’re one of them, then see this blog as a loving and compassionate letter to you … or pass it on to those who might need it.

Forgive me for addressing mothers here. If you are a father in this situation, and there are many of you out there, then please consider this blog personally written to you as an encouragement, too.

Typically, when describing their situation, parents berate themselves as whining about their lack of intimate time with the Lord. If this is you, I’d say, ‘no, you are not whining, you just described an honest desire and frustration most of us mothers go through, a heartfelt craving to spent more time in His presence whilst juggling everything else in life.’

I have heard some ladies in the ministry candidly talk about the same dilemma you described, e.g. I recall James Goll’s late wife Michal Ann express her frustration crying out to God in the privacy of her bathroom.


So, what do you do?

Certainly I experienced all this when my kids were little. I guess what it means is becoming more flexible and going with the flow of new dynamics.

For example, the lifestyle and dynamics most likely would have changed in your relationship with your partner or spouse over the years, especially since a family arrived.

Instead of resisting or regretting changes, or squeezing in the impossible and then become totally fatigued, it is smarter to become more resourceful and adaptable, rather than beating yourself up for not doing or accomplishing what you used to do, or were able to do.

You may as well, for especially if your kids are little, there’ll be many years to come, when the parent-ministry will be quite intense. So, you might as well make yourself at home ‘in the trenches’ and go with the flow!

Most importantly do not compare yourself to what you used to do, or even worse to other parents, especially those super spiritual ones! You have a very unique relationship with your Heavenly Lover, your Heavenly Father, your Lord and Saviour. Your tender, intimate relationship with Him does not have to measure up to anyone else’s. You are the apple of His eye, so just bask in His affectionate Love, on-the-go, with total surrender and gratitude.

See, part of all this guilt business stems from doing rather than being. So, learn to enter more into His rest and float in His presence.


Have you ever floated on water at the beach?

When you stretch out your arms, allow your face to be partially immersed in the water and stay still, you trust the water to carry you, it will, and you peacefully and effortlessly float.

However, if you paddle with your arms hoping to float, invariably your face goes under the water ….

So, learn to be still, relax, just be, and float in the supportive loving waters of His Spirit.

Practising the Prensence and Intimacy with God with a fresh awareness

There is another factor we so often either forget or are not aware of: Our thoughts are not private in the spirit realm! Our mental chatter is loud and clear to God and His faithful angelic realm …. so, we might as well use this as a focused communication tool more regularly than what we might have done before.

Thus, yes we can host and practice the presence of God on-the-go without having to sit for hours in Bible reading with long-winded prayers, which is great if there is the time available … if not, then just be flexible.

Quality time with Him is not so much doing things but just resting in Him and being deeply conscious of Him, practicing the awareness of His sweet presence.

Now, am I saying, it doesn not really matter if your alone time with Him is curtailed to just chatting with Him in your mind, whenever you happen to think of Him, or utter a quick prayer like, “Oh, Lord You know and understand how busy I am!” – No, definitely not!

Anything in life, if it is burningly important enough, we make room for it. The Kingdom of God is seemingly full of paradoxes, and contrary to the things we would ‘naturally’ do. For example, in the ‘natural’ we get hungry when we have not eaten, whereas in the ’spiritual’ you get hungry the more you eat. People who are not hungry for God and intimacy with Him usually have not eaten, or spend time with Him.

We need to seperate ourselves to be alone with Him regularly. I like a statement by Bill Johnson, who is my adopted spiritual father, “Fruitfulness comes out of Rest; Warfare comes out of Romance”

We need that rest and romance with Him daily, both in our continuous awareness and flowing with Him, adapting our lives accordingly, as well as some specific set aside time with Him.

Feeling guilty, and a sense that you should spend more time with Him is counterproductive and as detrimental as obeying the letter of the law.

No, He is beckoning with tenderness and love. He is love and responds to our love and craving for Him. When we are so besotted, smitten, in love with Him that we can’t wait to steal away just to catch His gaze and His breath, and linger in His presence, any time of the day or night will do!


…. and something more practical

One thing I used to do, when my kids were little, was every morning get dressed with my Walkman. These days it’s the MP3 player or iPod. Just like you would put on your underwear, put on your iPod or MP3 player, stuffed with either the spoken Bible or great teaching sermons. (There’s a pic of me holding my daughter, when she was little, and of course the ever present walkman).

You’ll be surprised how many opportunities you have during the day to pop in those ear-phones, if you actually wear the player as a routine every day.

I used to go to the playground with my kids, do all the house chores, shopping - you name it … whilst catching up on some good Word.

Sure, there are many times you get distracted and you’ll have to re-listen the same thing over and over. But that’s ok, your spirit will get it, and eventually your head catches up too.

So, let go of all these guilt feelings, and just enjoy Him every second of your life, grab those windows of opportunity, even if it’s just seconds long; just close your eyes, breathe deeply, be still, and let your heart whisper your love and gratitude to Him, and receive His.

In His love,


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© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries - The Journey of Intimacy, 2008. All Rights Reserved

So very proud of my daughter!

Today she wrote her last exam, meaning, she has now completed her Bachelor’s degree after a four year study slog alongside a full-time demanding job. It’s a BA in English Literature, and well, she has always been a keen reader.

She started early, probably influenced by seeing her mother buried in books most of the time. The moment she actually learnt to read, there was no stopping her.

There were numerous accounts and stories when she was little and at school, how the head teacher (principle) of the school was concerned that she would not stop reading even when walking on the street and bumping into lampposts, or secretly reading during lesson time.

Books have always been her passion. Asking her what she will do now after this degree, during the ‘gap-year’ till she’ll do her Masters? Oh simple, apart from working more on her sport fencing skills, she’ll finally get to read the mountain on non-academic books she has accrued ... and she can’t wait!

There is something else I need to mention, or another reason why I am so proud of her. She did her degree without any financial help from her parents, nor any loans, she worked hard at her job and did work related further exams during university holidays. What’s more she has remained a very balanced young lady who loves her fun, friends and socializing, and maintained a growing relationship with God her Saviour .... and is my own best friend!


One joyful and grateful mother!




(if you read this blog anywhere other than on Blogger, click here to read it at the original location)

Wedding - Sabah – Borneo – Malaysia

This is a long overdue blog, but suffice it to say, a lot happened.

A huge amount of prayer went into this trip, and those of you who know what I am talking about, a big *Thank You!* for taking the time to pray.

God answered superabundantly with His grace!

I had not seen my son for over 5 years, as he lives in Australia, so when he and his gorgeous new wife picked me up at the airport, I just dissolved in his arms in tears of joy. It was a wonderful and loving reunion!

What followed was a whirlwind of activities. Apart from the lovely wedding itself, all of us guests, from London and Australia were whisked off to a beautiful island, and of course on the mountainous trek around Mount Kinabalu ... a lot of activities crammed into a short space of time.

I was grateful to be back in the tropical heat with the high humidity which I so love and thrive in .... my only wish is for the locals to use fans rather than the ghastly cold air conditioners!

Below are some pictorial memories:



Approaching the island. The various colours of blue, green, aqua were so soothening and nourishing to me. I just love the water and get revived!

This rather large chap, a monitor lizard, lazily made his way around the beach folk. Except for those like me who hunted him with my camera, it bothered no-one and was at ease around all the people.

Apparently, they are quite aggressive in the water on different islands.









The next day we all went for a trek into the tropical rain forest at Mount Kinabalu, with the intent to go up on the 'canopy walk' which is a swinging riggedy hanging bridge about half a kilometre above the rain forest grounds ....




Here we are at the start of the climb ... both my son and daughter did not realize what was to be in store ...





There it is from the distance after a steep climb up on slippery make-shift 'steps' of various stone bolders and branches ....







I quit half way up. I plain was not fit enough to make it up.





Well, apparently it was a scary experience!


..... and then they got married!























My new daughter-in-love ... she is beautiful! I am so proud of both of them! What a gift they both are!


I have completely forgotten to post some pictures of those stunning South-East Asian tropical sunsets. They don't last long, but are incredibly intense. Enjoy!